These past couple of weeks have been seriously hectic for me. I have been meaning to put something up on my blog, but haven’t really had the chance or heart to. I am not prone to half-hearted write-ups or simply doing things just to get them done, so I just kept and still keep thinking “…Don’t just put up something up to kill the silence…” I’m still bugged out.
Just to put it out there, I had to scrap January of my calendar for reasons best not mentioned, so my year officially began in February ( I actually spelt it incorrectly the first time – seriously!!!!) . Literally scraping up the pieces of my life from the floor and trying to put them into some kind of comprehensible piece of work.
While reading the other day while I was propped up on the sofa, something happened that got me thinking. So, I was sitting on the sofa and from where I was I could see the apron that I had hung on the chair, slowly starting to slip off, about to fall. I made an attempt to stop it from falling. As I plunged off the sofa, during my plight (of about 5 seconds which really at that time seemed like an eternity), I wondered “Should I grab it from the straps on top, so that it doesn’t complete its fall and hit the ground? OR should I pull it from the bottom part to catch its fall, allowing it to actually fall first?” – My goodness, does life have to come with all these complexities? My answer to this is – YES , hell YES.
Life is not simple because it’s not meant to be. Simply put, what is life, if not but a dream? Just kidding. But, on a more serious note I paused and compared myself to the apron. I asked myself would I want to fall first and foremost? I mean I’m on top of a chair, I’m comfortable, safe ( you know), being used when needed, getting all dirtied up while others are using me to achieve their greater purpose – life of an apron!
Then I went deeper “…would I want someone to stop me before I take the plunge or would I want to take the leap and just pray that something out there in the universe will catch my fall? Or would I even take the risk of being at th edge of the cliff?”
The truth of the matter is, fear is figurative, and it’s a mental monster (for a lack of a better description), but it’s the most powerful keeper of dreams. I say keeper and not crusher, because a lot of us (me included) give our dreams, hopes and aspirations to fear to file away.
We allow fear to file our dreams away, left unattended to, dusty and full of cobwebs in some filing cabinet in our brains. We keep revisiting this filing cabinet, but the way fear has redecorated it and isolated it, makes one think that it’s best left alone.So, the dreams, hopes and aspiration never really go away, they are simply filed away, and eventually we give up on ever filing for the return of our dreams from fear.
Now, I don’t have all the answers, heck I don’t have answers at all, but I am hopeful and I have this undying faith that we are all meant to fulfil some or other purpose in this life. I have been dealing with fear for a long time, you can say that we have been manhandling each other for some time now, so I thought that perhaps sharing some ways that have helped me overcome some of my face-to-face moments with fear could help another soul out there, so here goes:
Always put it right at the front of your mind, that you are the creator of all things that you hope to do, and it’s up to YOU to actually do them.
People are people. Just like you, and just like me.
The more you put it off, the harder it will seem.Seem not is!
Follow your gut, if you don’t know what this means – I can’t help you.
Remember that you are not meant to be ordinary.
Positive affirmations help.
Say the things you fear out loud, and then argue out loud with yourself about why the particular fear is ridiculous!
Write down some of the things that have you afraid of going after what you want on a piece of paper, then light up that paper and watch it burn! (please be safe with this one)
Think of all the reasons why you can, say them out loud while recording yourself and then listen to yourself !( you will surprised at how weird you sound)
Do things that actually make you feel good about yourself, when we feel good about ourselves we tend to be more positive and this in turn makes us feel less afraid.
Try it out – whatever it is! YOU have to TRY.
So, just to add some perspective I interviewed the “resident specialist on overcoming fear” – a 6-year-old , and here is what she had to say:
Me: “What’s one way a person can get over their fears?”
6-year-old specialist: “by thinking about them and thinking ‘bout that fear and doing it onetime”
Me: “okay…what can people actually do to get over their fears?
6-year-old specialist: “they have to practice getting over that fear, like if someone has a fear of heights they need to go up and try not to panic, if they don’t go up once they won’t know if they can beat their fear”
Me: “What fear have you had and how did you get over it?”
6-year-old specialist: “I used to have a fear of injections. I used to be afraid when the doctor would give me injections. In my heart I was panicking, but what I did was that I breathed in and out and kept myself calm”
Me: “What is one thing that you would say to another kid to help them get over their fears?”
6-year-old specialist: “I have two ways to help them; they can close their eyes for a few seconds and then open when they feel calmer, and they can breath in and out ‘til they feel better. Then do it.”
Well, there you have it. Easier said than done right?!Just keep calm, breathe and go for it. Even if it’s just that one time! Don’t allow fear to file away your dreams!
Hope you enjoyed this little bit of insight on the matter.
Nonny R
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